Definitions

Sensual

“Sensual simply means ‘of the senses’ -- sight, smell, sound, taste, and touch.”  - Richard M. Siegel, PHD

Sexual

Sexual refers to physical intimacy that involves the sexual organs, simulates sexual acts, or results in sex.

Boundary

“A boundary is a guideline, limit, or standard established by you, applied to you, and enforced by you, in order to protect you and preserve your personal values.”  - Multiamory by Dedeker Winston, Emily Sotelo Matlack, and Jase Lindgren

Cuddle Agreements

Before the session

  • We both will meet expectations for adequate hygiene prior to the start of each session:

    • Teeth brushed, clean clothes, and freshly showered (at most 12 hours prior to session start time).

  • We both will ensure their body and clothing are scent free before each session:

    • Including perfume, cologne, essential oils, smell of smoke, etc.

  • We both agree to communicate prior to our session about any colds, open wounds, or anything else that may be contagious through skin-to-skin contact, body fluids, or shared oxygen:

    • Appointments may be re-scheduled at the discretion of either party to support our mutual health.

During the session

  • We both I agree to remain adequately dressed throughout the session:

    • All parties must wear a minimum of a tank top and workout shorts. Undergarments are not considered sufficient clothing.

  • We both agree to ensure that my hands do not wander to non-platonic areas of our bodies:

    • Touch with hands is NOT allowed on swimsuit areas of either party, both under and over clothing.

  • We both understand the difference between sensual and sexual energy and agree to not instigate or participate in sexual activities during our cuddle sessions:

    • Cuddling is inherently sensual. We will only engage in aspects of cuddling that are non-sexual

  • We both agree to honor any boundaries expressed by either party during our session:

    • Review the “Culture” section below for details about setting and honoring boundaries.

After the session

  • I understand that communication between sessions will be strictly for scheduling and payment purposes:

    • To ensure the safety of the cuddle container, I do not engage in personal relationships with my clients outside of our sessions.

  • All information disclosed in sessions is confidential. Session details including name, location, time, and length of session may be shared with a 3rd party to verify safety. 

Culture

Boundaries & Vulnerability

Boundaries create the safe container for vulnerability and authenticity. Cuddling is inherently vulnerable and I often invite my clients into deeper layers of emotional vulnerability during our sessions so clear boundaries are essential. Not all boundaries are predictable though. Some boundaries will be established ahead of time (for example, all the agreements listed above) and others will come up in the moment due to emergent needs, feelings, desires, and shifts in energy.

It is also incredibly vulnerable to express desire (verbally or non-verbally) and then receive someone’s boundary. We live in a culture that associates boundary settings with shame, and if this is your experience, you are not alone. Any hard feelings that arise during a session are welcome, so please share with me anything that comes up in the moment.

Here are some of the ways I think about boundaries that may help soften the experience around boundaries:

  • We both have the best intentions and care about each other’s experience and wellbeing.

  • Setting a boundary is a gift to the other person, helping them be close without hurting you.

  • Not setting a boundary when we need one almost always results in resentment.

  • We both are free to change our minds at any time.

  • My boundaries are about me. They don’t mean anything about you.

  • If you’re not sure if something is okay, please just ask.

  • I don’t want you to do anything you don’t genuinely want to do. I assume you want the same for me.

Trauma Sensitivity

I have a trauma-sensitive approach that supports healing emotional wounds connected to physical touch. Shame and Trauma healing work are my primary special interests and I have a lot of experience with traumatized individuals, including myself. I guarantee that I won’t do it perfect every time but I am always available for repair when I miss the mark. In my experience, that is actually where the magic happens. Repair has created more healing in my own life than perfection ever has.

LGBTQ + Non-Binary

Let’s talk about gender identity and sexuality! I identify as queer and non-binary, but whatever your history or current experience/identity, it is all welcome here.

For me, identifying as non-binary reflects the absence of gender I experience when I look deep inside myself. I feel both masculine and feminine archetypal energy move through me at different times but when they dissipate I return to neutral, to just being me. I was assigned female at birth and still identify with the experience of being socialized in a female body, but I use they/them pronouns in addition to she/her in my mid 20s because it better matcheds how I felt inside.

My sexual orientation is very fluid as well. I date all genders, have multiple partners, and practice relationship anarchy, meaning my relationships are not guided by cultural norms or expectations.